August 21, 2007

Well, what can possibly go wrong? I have a wonderful husband to be, an awesome job and a loving support group of friends and family.
I will tell you. I live in a one and a half bedroom apartment with Eric (my husband to be), 3 cats, one turtle a frog, a spider and yea, who can't forget the two fish that we/I have? The apartment to just TOO small! Okay, so we know this. We didn't really plan on being here for another year. But then again, that's life.
My job is awesome, I mean I walk into work around 9...ish in the mornings, I get to wear what I what, tell my boss and the owner what to do, and where to put it for that matter. They PAY for my FULL medical insurance, I am promised 40 hours a week and all I work is Monday-Friday 9am-5pm. How bad does that really sound?
Well did I tell you about the customers? There is this husband and wife team, I kicked them out of the last place I worked at for being so damn rude and demanding, well guess what, karma got me. Then I get the, (and please do not take offense to any of this) guys who think that just because I am younger and a female, that they can boss ME around and treat me like dirt. Well if any of you know me, I don't play like that. Now they know this as well. I had one customer today that cussed me over the phone for no reason at all, just because I sent over a proof and he didn't like it...well duh, that's why I give you proofs, to make sure you like it. I mean i'll change anything on there if you would like, just as along as your nice to me. His price just doubled...
Then I get the, (and once again, no offense) dumb 'blonds' that walks in and has no clue to what they want, but knows that they need something...ummm, HELLO!? I AM NOT A MIND READER! Sorry, go to OfficeMax or somewhere else, you are breathing My air and sorry I would like to continue to live, today.
Okay, so enough about work. How about this apartment thingy? Well lets see, we pay under $600.00 a moth to live here, it's a really apartment and they include your heat, gas and water...no big deal. I don't even think that we have had to turn our air on this year. It's close to my work and Erics, but none of my friends comes to visit, they all say that I live too far from them. Sorry.
So we are looking for a house. We can afford a little something, but we also would like it to be nice, so when we get married and start having children, we won't have to move to provide for them. But I don't make enough and neither does Eric, we don't make enough together...it sucks! I know we could do it, but we would be living from paycheck to paycheck and who wants to live like that when you don't have too? Giving up the pets is not even an option for us, AT ALL. So moving into a home is our only solution. Then it all comes back down to the money. Are we going to be able to afford it? Electric, gas, water, etc? I mean we could, but with the wedding, all of our extra money is going to pay for that.
Why does growing up mean that you have so much more on your plate? Yes Michigan sucks right now, but I am promised a job, forever, if I stay where I am at. But that is just that, I will stay where I am at for everything. I probably will never see another raise, or any other benefits. Should I really look into getting a new job? Maybe a second job? If I get a second job, it would only be part time, I won't be able to spend the time with Eric that I should, or with my parents and friends, I see them very little as it is now. Did you know I talked to my parents I think a total of 3 times last week? Yes, that's all. I just don't have the time. I wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner, take a shower and go to bed. I am normally in bed by now, but I am so confused I can't sleep.
Eric on the other hand, should and DESERVES a promotion, but for some reason, they are taking their good old time in giving it him. He doesn't want to 'talk' about it that much to them, in fears that they will never give one. His hours are so messed up and they flex so much, last week he worked somewhere over 50hrs, this week, he'll be lucky to make 25hrs. Somethings got to give. He wants to stay there at least one more year so he can take his ASE cert. test and that way he is one step closer to opening his dream business of car audio and custom fabrication.
Then there are my friends, (again, no offense) who just seem to be able to make it, without even trying it seems. One of my really good friends is making $16.00 an hour, AN HOUR! How you may ask? Well it beats me. I am not trying to be mean, she has been there for me when I needed her, but she never did graduate from high school, she was given every chance to. She doesn't have the skills needed for the position that she is in and she openly admits to it. I mean I supported her for the past 9 years, financially and mentally, practically delivered her wonderful baby girl, AFTER I talked her into keeping it. Yet for some reason, she is the one who get the break. She hardly talks to me anymore because of her husband to be. For some reason, I get the feeling that he don't like me. Well that's okay, i'm not that fond of him either. Okay so HE had a problem in his past, doesn't mean that everyone else does too. I guess it's not really her fault that she can't even meet me on her lunch, I mean I am the BAD influence. Yea that's it, i'm the bad one...
Then there are others, who I am not even going to mention...those ones barley talk to me anymore and when they do, they talk about how "bad" their life is...i'm sorry, I was there for you when you needed me and you were there for me, but come on, what you are doing is wrong, and everyone knows it. You need help and I don't think anyone can help you now...maybe if you get your life in order and stop blaming everyone else, something good just might happen...
There are some friends of mine, who have their own lives. Good isn't everyone supposed too? But that doesn't mean that you have to cut others out. I know that with being an 'adult' you have more responsibilities and stuff, but all work and no play...i'm sure something will come to mind.
I know that this is all just part of growing up, but does that really mean everyone has to change, everything about them? Life sucks and by any means is it fair, but why can't we all just get along anymore?
In any case, i'll cherish each moment that comes along and deal with every curve ball that life throws at me. Just think, in 11 months and 19 days, I will become the happiest girl, when I say 'I do'.
Ever heard of curiosity killed the cat? Well I am the cat. I fear of being 'killed' if I try too hard, but yet I know I will be if I don't try at all.
I know to most of you this does not make any sense, but I just needed to vent. Thanks for all of you who 'listened' to me!